We all want to say yes, do it all, have it all. We all have some sort of limitation whether it be Fibromyalgia or something else. Those of us that “suffer in silence” from something we can’t see have it just a little bit tougher. People don’t see an amputated limb or a limp, they see what appears to them a healthy individual.
As a result it’s left to me to explain my limitations. Some people probably think me unreliable because sometimes I just wake up to sore to do the thing I wanted to do that day. I feel bad because I was always raised to keep commitments but sometimes I just can’t. It’s not that I am not strong enough or because I’m suffering from a flu, it’s because I know that if I push the envelope too far I will pay for it later.
Yesterday was one of those days. My arms and lower back have been very sore. I planned a fun dive with a friend and I was really looking forward to it. But when I woke up yesterday morning I could just tell I wasn’t going to be able to do it all. I spent Saturday and was to spend part of Sunday in class for my EFR-I credential and I just knew that diving and pushing it was a bad idea. Luckily she was understanding and said she was thinking of canceling as well. So I was saved from feeling guilty.
The limitation frustrates me to no end. I want to be able to do it all, and lately I have been. Because I have been doing so much my body has been telling me to slow down. So, rather than go diving, I came home and took a nap. It felt good to rest and I felt an instant relief when I layed in my bed. It’s an “ahhh” feeling.
The holidays were so crazy and they flew right by. I worked 3-4 days a week in addition to my duties as a wife and mother. Now that’s done and had a relatively slow week last week. When I slowed down and took a day to catch up around the house is when I felt it. Starting tonight I have the instructor development course which will run 4 nights a week plus weekends for the next 3 weeks. After that I have the Instructor Exam which is an entire weekend. So I have to save my energy for that. I have to discipline myself, go to bed early and rely on some help from my friends and my husband. Hopefully he knows that he will be doing most of the cooking/cleaning and kid chasing for the next 3 weeks. John is incredibly supportive and has been alongside me through the diagnosis and treatment. He knows, sometimes before I do, when I am getting run down. He’s usually good at helping out.
I’m excited for the things to come in the coming weeks and I think I’m prepared. All I need now is for my body to hold up to the demands of the course.
I have experienced the tender points in my elbows for the first time this week. They are sore to move around and so is everything else it seems. But this is the first time experiencing this particular pain. My feet have been pretty sore too, at times it makes me limp. I’m hoping for the some relief with the new shoes I ordered.
I try very hard to manage the pain and I usually do pretty well with Yoga poses, the TENS unit, and when absolutely necessary pain medication. I don’t take motrin because too much of that will give me and ulcer. Tylenol isn’t a good option either because long-term use of that will trash my liver. So I try my best to manage without medication. I do have days though where I’ve tried everything else and I have to submit. I count myself lucky that I don’t need heavy narcotics like Vicodin or Percocet. The best pain relief for someone with Fibro is to remain well rested so I have to work on getting to bed earlier and grabbing a nap where I can.
So here’s hoping the next 3 weeks go smoothly.